30 and then what?

Turning 30 this year was not fun. Actually becoming older hasn’t been fun for a long time, but this time it was different. Maybe it is because society and people view you in another perspective, when you stop being in your twenties. In Japan a woman is for instance no longer an “oneesan” (sister), when she becomes 30. Instead she is called an “obasan” (aunt). The change of referring indicates that she now belongs to another segment and was originally a way to show respect. Nowadays, however, nobody really desires to be called an “obasan” (I know that I don’t…), because it is as well a sign that you are not considering to be young any more. And let’s face it: everyone would like to stay forever young, since it is no secret that youth is equal beauty in many societies and cultures, like here in Japan. Who doesn’t want to be attractive? I remember the feeling I had the few times I was called an “obasan” by my mother-in-law (who by the way　seemed to enjoy calling me that…I wonder why…). But it is not the only reason that I turned 30 with (not happy) tears in my eyes. I was also concerned about what I could do and not do in terms of my age. You can’t escape it. Different age, different rules. An example is your clothing. General speaking there are more rules, when it comes to Japanese fashion, because you are expecting to dress after your age. The question is though if you should change, because society expects you to do so? Should you really let other people define who you are or tell you what you can or can’t do? Most people would say no, but it is, without any doubts, difficult to totally ignore the rules and structures in a society. I guess that we are all afraid to be judged and feel outside. What we can do is maybe finding a way to adjust and at the same time make ourselves happy. Turning 30 was also a wake-up call – perhaps because of the symbolic meaning I put in this birthday. For me it was something special to become 30, but my husband didn’t share my feelings. He thinks that age is just a number and that I was too much… (He should speak…I do recall a person who as well was sad when he turned 30 three years ago...) He may be right about the age thing, but every birthday is a reminder that we don’t live forever. However, we don’t really think about it before we are close to the thirties. Even though I have given it some thought in my late-twenties, I have now finally realized that I can’t keep wasting any more time. Some people say that the thirties are the new twenties, which I want and choose to believe. But the fact is that we are all getting older. Since nothing can be done about that (who wants to be Benjamin Button anyway???), the question must then be: What do I really want to do with my life?...and do it.